Since having my fourth child, I have been on the receiving end of so many genuinely conflicted mums asking my opinion on if they should have another baby. How much harder is it? How do the dynamics change? Have I waited long enough? Have I waited too long? And to be completely honest, before I had Miss #4, I asked most those questions myself! Now that we’ve taken the plunge into a 6 pax family, my ovaries and I feel like our family is definitely now complete! Ha!
I read something lately that really resonated with me. Have you heard of it? ‘The mental load’. It’s a relatively new term for the weight (usually) a mother carries that is unseen but always in her mind. All those practical things to do but also the inner conflicts on deciding all those little things that make up family life – especially with children too young to make their own choices. You carry those words your child said in the car that made you wonder if there is more to that story. Or how to deal with your child’s heart ache over friendship problems. Another child’s allergies playing up. Scheduling naps, homework, exercise, family time, healthy eating, doctors, dentists, teachers, birthdays, sore ears, long division revision, lost hats, too small shoes, readers, getting enough playtime, reading stories, making time to listen. All the while creating a heart connection with each child. While these thoughts may not be a burden, they are still there, they are unavoidable and they take energy.
For all those mummies wondering how different it is to add another child to their family, I would say this is what has changed for me the most. Space in my mental capacity. Don’t get me wrong – it is wonderful. It is tiring. Some nights I wonder if I can fit anything else in my mind. But I never wonder if I have room in my heart because there is always room in there. 🙂
Stay tuned for my next post with my AUGUST FREEBIE! Woo!